how to find the 'right' church

I have often been asked, “How do I find the right church?” Naturally, everyone has his or her own understanding of what the “right” church looks like. For some, the style of worship is a big deal. For others, the way in which the pastor delivers the message, and perhaps the content of the message itself, plays a significant role. In addition, people often desire the extra church amenities such as a solid children’s ministry, a good youth program, a cool look, friendly people, impacting ministries, a not-too convicting but self-helping sermon, comfort, an air-conditioned sanctuary, answers to all of life’s questions, and opportunities to be used in their giftedness. With such a long grocery list of church qualities, how do we find the right church? Before I discuss how to find the right church, I will discuss a few barriers that stand in the way, and “The Big Misconception.”

The first barrier is what I call, “ecclesial benefits,” namely, the grocery list of what the church has to offer. Personally, I can understand the desire for ecclesial benefits. As a teen involved with the youth group, I went to church mostly for my friends and the activities. When I was in college, I would “church hop” in order to find a service that could accommodate all my needs. I looked for churches with ministries that interested me. I enjoyed a church that had an appealing look. I looked for a preacher who was able to speak powerfully and intelligibly about the Bible so that I might “be fed.” Furthermore, as a musician I paid attention to the quality of music and talent of each musician on the worship team. The concern for that which the church “has to offer” blinds one from recognizing that which God is offering. This leads to the next barrier.

The second barrier is the distraction of the vessel. For the most part, people want to encounter God at church. Alas, many miss such an encounter because they search in the wrong places. Many people tend to look for a certain kind of speaker or worship style. All along, we ought to be looking for Jesus Christ. Many are listening for human knowledge when we should be listening for the wisdom of God. We are constantly distracted by human representatives when we should be focused on the Spirit. This was a major problem Paul faced in his correspondence to the church in Corinth. Paul writes:

I appeal to you, brothers and sisters, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another in what you say and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly united in mind and thought. My brothers and sisters, some from Chloe’s household have informed me that there are quarrels among you. What I mean is this: One of you says, “I follow Paul”; another, “I follow Apollos”; another, “I follow Cephas”; still another, “I follow Christ.” Is Christ divided? Was Paul crucified for you? Were you baptized into the name of Paul?
1 Corinthians 1:10-13 TNIV

The church in Corinth is looking to human persons, the vessels, and not to Christ. As a result, division is in their midst. They are not united in mind or thought, but continually bicker because of their human-allegiance. Should we not rather have a Christ-allegiance? Why do we argue about following the Paul’s and Peter’s in our lives? Have we mistaken some person as the head of the church? For, “Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior” (Ephesians 5:23b). If we are too concerned about the vessel, we are liable to miss the Spirit. We either pay too much honor the vessel and not Christ, or reject the human vessel through whom God is speaking and doing a mighty work.

A third barrier is the wrong attitude in searching for a place of worship. In essence, people hope to find a church in which they feel the pastor speaks to me, the worship moves me, and people welcome me. Do you notice how much “me” is in there? I suppose a question to consider would be, “Is church about me?” If church is, indeed, about me, then looking for a church that benefits me is a very important criterion. Yet the way I read Scripture does not merit a “me” attitude when it comes to the body of Christ. Looking for a church of which to become a member should not be done in the same way as one walks into Bed Bath and Beyond in an attempt to find desirable decor. I do not recall Paul saying, “So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, in order to market the body of Christ in appealing ways throughout the world so more people are attracted and join.” Rather, Christ gave the apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors and teachers, “to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ” (Ephesians 4:11-13, emphasis mine).

In my own experience of trying to find the right church, I soon discovered the irony that though I was going to a specific church with the intention of meeting the Lord through the message and worship, and perhaps the people, I was missing Christ altogether. The message may have been powerful and Christ-centered, but I was focused on the person speaking the words and not the Word itself. Worship may have been Spirit-anointed, but rather than pouring out my heart in worship I was inwardly commentating on the performance of the band; the awesome drum beat or who hit the wrong note. I was so occupied with the atmosphere around me: the paintings, the interior designs, and media, I never entered into an atmosphere of worship. Is this the purpose of church?

Discussing the purpose of church leads to The Big Misconception. That is, the idea that the purpose of church is to “serve and feed me.” Though it is important for Christ’s followers to find a church in which they can participate as part of the family of God and be “fed,” the purpose of church is not centered on the follower of Christ. Rather, the purpose of church is centered on Christ and the Kingdom of God. We ought to have the same attitude as Christ Jesus. Such an attitude alleviates any misconception that the church is about “me.” Jesus said, “For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” How can we as followers of Jesus expect to be served when Jesus, our Lord and example, came not to be served but to serve? In terms of finding a church that “serves,” one should seek a church family in which they can actively serve as well as be served. In terms of being “fed,” one should seek a church family in which they can be equipped in such a way that develops his or her faith, walk, and understanding of the Bible in order to be used in powerful ways for God’s purposes in the world. Being fed does not mean being entertained, comfortable, or reached in ways that fit our ideas, attitudes or expectations.

So how do we find the right church? Keep in mind the “church” is not the building, the sanctuary, the campus, or the programs. The church is the fellowship and gathering of God’s people. Thus, Christ’s followers do not GO to church. Christ’s followers ARE the Church. Concomitantly, Christ’s followers make up the body of Christ and live as Kingdom workers. Therefore, the first step in finding the right church is recognizing as a Christian, “I am the church! I am a member of the body of Christ!” The second step is to understand the responsibilities that come with being a member of the body of Christ.

As Christ’s followers, we are on a trajectory towards fullness in Christ Jesus. Our characters are continually being transformed to match that of our Lord. Our minds are continually being renewed to focus on heavenly things. And we are continually being equipped and empowered as Kingdom workers. In short, church is not about “me,” or how the church can “benefit” or “serve me.” Rather, me being a part of the church means I have the honor of plugging in to a church fellowship in order to benefit the body of Christ and serve my Lord and Savior while preaching the Good News. As John F. Kennedy said, “Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country”; so should Christ’s followers have the mindset of, “Ask not how the church can serve you, but how you can be equipped to serve the church and the world.”

I do not want to give a false impression that the human vessel has no importance whatsoever. That would be foolish. Of course there will be church fellowships in which the pastor and/or people are not attentive to the Holy Spirit, not obedient to the Word of God, or have some off-the-wall doctrine that is not Christ-centered. In the same way, there will be church fellowships that are not the right place to be equipped for Kingdom work. Therefore, with an attitude of seeking Christ, ask God to lead you to a church where you will be most equipped, transformed, connected, and filled by the Holy Spirit. Taking note of the vessel will not do this for you. Taking note of the Spirit in spite of the vessel will do this. Consider the fact that you may be surprised of the vessel through whom you hear from God after following the Spirit’s promptings. Sometimes, people are led to the wrong church in order to be used by the Holy Spirit to transform it for the glory of Jesus Christ. In any case, follow God’s leading, not your own.

In summary, the church is made up of individual followers of Christ. Therefore, finding the right church is a matter of finding a church fellowship in which one can be equipped for service in the Kingdom, as well as a fellowship in which one can serve and be served alike. The following is a list of key pointers I have found helpful in coaching people who are searching for the right church. This is by no means an exhaustive list, nor do I claim that it answers adequately all the aspects of searching for a solid church fellowship. Nevertheless, it serves as a good starting point to, if nothing else, adjust our attitudes in such a way that we might put ourselves along with our egos and expectations aside in order to truly seek Christ.

A Quick Guide to Finding the Right Church

1. Empty yourself of your expectations concerning the worship and preaching style as well as your expectations of what you are looking for in the “right church.”

2. Seek the Lord. Specifically, ask the Holy Spirit to guide you and lead you to a place in which you can hear from God in spite of the vessel.

3. The prospective church should be a place in which you can be moved from the place you are spiritually when you first walk through the door to a greater depth in your relationship with Christ. It is important to find a place that will help you grow in your faith, your understanding of the Bible, a heart of worship, and a life of prayer.

4. The church you serve should be a place through which you are encouraged and equipped to do Kingdom work, both by the leadership and fellow members.

5. Make sure the prospective church is a place where you can partner with other brothers and sisters in order to serve the church and community. Solid and lasting relationships are essential in a church family. With this point, ask the Lord to reveal the places in you that need to be changed so you are not a hindrance in developing new relationships.

6. Ask for the general doctrine (core teachings) of the church and make sure they are in line with Scripture, not necessarily your personal theology or your church tradition. I encourage people to ask the pastor questions and seek opinions from various trusted friends concerning core teachings of any church.

7. Ask the Lord how you can be used by the Holy Spirit to make the church better for the sake of the Kingdom and the glory of Jesus Christ.